back

I’m back.

NHL finals is going to be sick.

schools pretty much over in less than a week

chill

like a boss

speaking of cashing out

So of all the movies ever made about cashing out, (I’m talking about Oceans’ series, Blue Streak, the Italian Job, the Taking of Pelham 123 and everything else of that sort), the National Treasure movies are the finest as far as cashing out is concerned.

I mean, Nicolas Cage, despite losing all his fucking shit, finds 2 rather large rooms full of historic items of serious value, and literally cashes out.

The guy who just followed Ben Gates (Cage) around (Doug from the Hangover aka Justin Bartha or something) buys a damn nice Ferrari with 1% of the room full of shit under the Trinity Church in NYC. In fact, it was .5%. I mean, we are talking about .5% here. That is like me having 100 69inch TVs and giving you half of one TV.

What did George Clooney get out of robbing Belagio? bunch of Feds on his back. John Travolta tries to cash out by turning 2 million bucks into 300million bucks, but ends up getting shot by Denzel Washington.

As Chris Rock said, “different people have gone about in different ways when acquiring a fortune in the United States of America.”

Holy shit. I’m gonna be a damn treasure hunter when I grow up. Nicolas Cage finds a staircase under an old church and gets a giant house, a hot wife (who is so hot that she was cast as Helen of Troy, go watch Troy starring Brad Pitt) and money in the bank.

I mean, over the two films lasting about 2 hours each, Cage steals the Declaration of Independence, plasters the back of it with lemon juice and heat, bribes an FBI agent, destroys bunch of shit, breaks out of jail in England, breaks into the Queen’s office, breaks into the Oval Office, kidnaps the President of USA, runs bunch of red lights, sneaks into the Library of Congress, reads shit in the President’s Book, destroys bunch of shit and destroys more shit.

First of all, stealing the Declaration of Independence, breaking out of jail, breaking into the oval office and kidnapping the president of USA probably are each worth about 100 years in jail.

bribign an FBI agent, well i guess that’s cool as long as no one finds out

destroying shit: probably a lot of fine considering i got fined 380bucks for speeding

I mean we are talking about the most badass crimes ever committed. Kidnap the President? that’s like LiveFree or Die Hard x1000000000069.

There are different degrees of cashing. Well, using the scale of 0 to William Randolph Hearst, that ranks about William Randolph Hearst. In fact, he has cashed out so bad that the President of USA is totally chill with someone kidnapping the shit out of him on his damn birthday. Do you have any idea what would happen to you if you were to kidnap the President of United States of America? You would probably have 3 different satellites zoomed in on you.

I mean, even if the President was chill with you kidnapping him, how the hell do you have balls to sneak into the President’s birthday party. People get detained for sneaking into clubs. think about that.

So when ya’ll graduate from college, I’d suggest that you all go looking for some treasure. Because it’s much easier, quicker and more efficient than robbing a Las Vegas casino, hacking into IRS or just flat out high jacking a subway train in NYC. You do not want the entire FBI and NVPD, Bruce Willlis or Denzel Washington coming after you. Nicolas scores a mansion and a hot wife with one room. the next room he gets, he’s pardoned for kidnapping the president. and his friend gets his Ferrari tax exempt.

Man, i would be so down to get a Ferrari with .5% of my income.

I am screwed

i showed mum my ticket tonight

she flipped about four different kinds of shits